Buried deep inside his book The Divine Conspiracy, Dallas Willard makes this statement, “The cure for too-much-to-do is solitude and silence, for there you find you are safely more than what you do. And the cure of loneliness is solitude and silence for there you discover in how many ways you are never alone.”
When I read those words for the first time I was in a season of loneliness unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was in need of a cure but I was skeptical of the prescription being offered to me.
I understood loneliness wasn’t about being alone. We all know we can be lonely in a crowd. What I didn’t understand was how deliberately being alone would help, let alone be the cure.
This led me directly to exploring, deeper than ever before, how Spiritual Disciplines (also called Exercises or Practices) aid in spiritual formation.
What I would come to understand is that solitude is not purposefully being alone. Solitude is purposefully removing yourself from human contact in order to be more fully present to and aware of God. In solitude done for the purpose of connecting with God we are never alone.
I began to use the times in my every day life of aloneness to begin to experiment with solitude. At first, it was simply a change of attitude, instead of thinking, “I am home alone” I would think, “I am alone with God” or “God is with me.”
Then I began to set aside time during alone hours to do nothing but sit with God; to do nothing but to know that God is with me. Slowly, I came to understand, from experience, the truth of that statement, solitude and silence is the cure for loneliness.
The goal of the Christian life is one of transformation down to the gut-response, knee-jerk-reactions level that we all have. We are to become the type of person who will respond in a Christ-like manner automatically. This is only possible as we open ourselves up to God at a deeper level and cooperate with the Holy Spirit in our training in righteousness. Spiritual Disciplines aid us in this cooperative endeavor between us and Trinity. Like practicing scales on the piano isn’t for playing scales better but being able to play piano well, practicing disciplines prepares us to live our life of discipleship to Jesus better.
When done with the proper attitude these practices will not lead us to pursue them legalistically nor will they produce spiritual pride. Instead, they will lead us into gratitude for all God is doing in and through us. And gratitude for His grace and mercy poured out on our daily, ordinary with-God life.
In my own loneliness I was constantly connected to others via social media but at the expense of my soul. Spiritual Disciplines and especially solitude has helped me recover from that addiction and influence. These practices remain available aids to be applied to the yet untransformed parts of me. As Eugene Peterson said discipleship to Jesus is, “a long obedience in the same direction.”
Though the deep loneliness of my past is gone the discipline of solitude has created in me a desire for more solitude. My life is busier now and so I must be intentional to make this happen.
Daily I take time to sit with Jesus, often I drink coffee while we enjoy each other’s company. This is not a time of study, nor necessarily of prayer, though both are wonderful practices—no, this is an opportunity to just BE. Just be with the One who loves me beyond measure.
This past November I took this a step farther thanks to a suggestion by my Spiritual Director. She suggested a personal retreat giving helpful bits of information I may not have considered on my own. I experienced my first personal solitude and silence retreat a couple weeks later.
She and I meet at a retreat center not far from my home. There they have three small cabins which can be used for personal retreats. These cabins are without running water or electricity. Thankfully each cabin has an outhouse nearby but not too close. (I never would have thought this would be something I would enjoy! But for me solitude has been a life saver.) I spent 24 hours there being completely unplugged, including no phone reception. This was such a positive experience I am already planning my next retreat this spring which will start on a Wednesday morning and end late Friday afternoon.
Throughout this learning journey I have come to trust God for what He alone can do. Sitting in His Presences when I am doing nothing God is at work. The depths of my being where my loneliness resided was only reachable by Him. As I took time to deliberately spend time “just being” in His presence He filled the lonely parts of me with His love. It doesn’t get any better than that.
Do you cling to a particular Spiritual Discipline (Practice or Exercise)? I would love to hear about your journey. You can email me as always at: [email protected]
Recommended if you’d like to read more about it:
*The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives by Dallas Willard
*Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster
*The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg
